I tend to be lazy. Especially when I’m told to (or am supposed to) do things that I really don’t see the sense in doing.
I have the terrible habit of analyzing people. I think about every move, every sight, every eye roll or attitude and I usually make conclusions about them that are likely to be mistaken just because of these little signs that I keep searching for.
I get irritated when someone doesn’t act the way I would. I really expect people to be like me – actually, like my bright side. Of course I don´t want people to act the same as me when I’m the one who’s injured.
I’m afraid of losing people. Losing for real. I get paranoid when a beloved one gets a strange blood test result or is in pain. I often have nightmares of people dying because of that.
I’m also really, really afraid of dying in a plane crash.
I’m spoiled. Which means that I’m really not prepared if some huge life problem comes to my life.
I have kind of a problem with trusting people. Odd thing is that I usually trust strangers more than I trust close people. Maybe it’s because the fall is higher…
I secretly think that I could learn anything in the world if I wanted to, it’s just that I don’t want to make an effort to be a genius. Nevertheless, lately, with age coming, that thought is slipping from my mind…
On the other hand, I just can’t accept when people that I care about don’t explore their full potential in life.
I don’t know why, but I feel more comfortable writing about my feelings in a foreign language. Maybe it’s because the voice in my mind doesn’t sound so much like me.
When I’m depressed or angry, I can only see other people’s mistakes and weaknesses. --- Which means that right now I’m just having some clarity in my mind. So, please, don't worry. It's like those waves in the water. You have to be still and cease them in order to see the sand over your feet. ---